I'm Back!

Image source: flickr.com

Hello everyone.

I'm sorry if I was missed during my random hiatus, and I'm even more sorry if you never got the memo as to why I disappeared. (I tried to get the word out!) But I'm back now and want to explain and inform you of a few things.  

1. If you're wondering why I randomly deleted the blog, it's because this article brought my attention to the fact that I wasn't being very wise about my photo use. I honestly thought it was okay to use whatever photos I fancied as long as I cited the original source and didn't make any money off the photos. Nope. Apparently, you still put yourself at risk for getting sued.

So I went back and forth in my head about what to do before deciding that it would be best to delete my blog until I made an informed decision about future photo use. I now use this nifty little resource to find my photos.

2. I'm not going to lie to you...I hated deleting this blog. I hate that I spent nearly four hours relaunching it and finding all new photos yesterday. I hate how much harder it is to find photos I can actually use. I hate that I can't take random drool-worthy photos off Google and Pinterest and compile them into photo heavy, visually appealing blog posts anymore. And I'm probably going to piss and moan and be a little bit of a grumpy whiner about it for a little while. But I wanted to do the right thing. When you know you're doing something wrong, you should stop doing it.

3. If you'll notice, some of my old posts are missing. And every single one of my home and organization posts are missing because (almost) every single one of them contained lots of photos that I either couldn't replace or didn't feel like replacing. In my opinion, home and organization posts just aren't very entertaining or informative without pictures. It would be very difficult and kind of boring to write a post about how to make the inside of your closet look rad if you don't show pictures of rad closets. Or to write a post about your obsession with cottage-style and not show pictures of cottage-style home designs.

So although I still want to write about home and organization, I probably won't write about it as often as I used to...Because safe-to-use photos are limited in that area. In fact, I can no longer publish photo heavy posts at all unless I find the pictures I'm looking for or get express permission to use them. I'm sorry if my photo heavy posts were your favorite. I liked them too...

4. I will no longer blog twice a week, every week. The fact that there are now gaps in my "every Wednesday and Friday" blogging schedule makes my OCD mind want to blog as sporadically as my previous posts appear. I will still post on Wednesdays and Fridays...It just won't be EVERY Wednesday and Friday. I don't have time to spend two hours looking for relevant photos twice a week. But I will still blog as often as I can and as often as inspiration hits.

5. I hope you'll keep reading this little blog of mine. Because I really want to keep writing it despite these changes.

<3 Madison              

A Chat About Self-Love with Lori Deschene

I am a huge fan of Lori and Tiny Buddha, as most of you may know. So I was beyond excited when I got an email asking if it would be okay if she featured one of my Tiny Buddha posts in her upcoming book, Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself. It was a no-brainer.  

The excitement continued when she asked if I would be interested in posting a Q&A with her on this little blog of mine. It was another no-brainer. I've always wanted to interview Lori, but never had a relevant theme or topic in mind. Now I have one! 

So I sent Lori some questions about self-love, and she got back to me with these wonderfully insightful responses. I hope they inspire you as much as they inspired me.

1. What initially inspired you to write Tiny Buddha's Guide to Loving Yourself? 

It's something I've planned to do for awhile---start a series of "Tiny Buddha's Guide to" books, drawing from the many inspiring stories on the site.

Self-love seemed like the perfect topic to start with, since this is the core of all personal growth and the foundation for loving others and loving life.

It's also the foundation of my greatest struggles.

For a long time, I thought my life was a mess because of my depression, or my former eating disorder, or my lack of purpose, or my lack of money, but at the heart of all those troubles was my unwavering self-loathing.

2. We all struggle with loving ourselves sometimes, and no one ever truly arrives at a place of complete self-acceptance. It's human nature to be hard on ourselves. How do you deal when loving yourself is hard?

Reminding myself of this truth is the first thing I do. Sometimes I get hard on myself for getting hard on myself, which is incredibly ironic when you think about it.

It's piling judgment on top of pain---emotions on top of emotions---and it's a surefire way to get stuck.

Beyond that, it varies. Sometimes I'm proud of how I deal. I get outside and out of my head and take good care of my mind and body. Other times, I shut down and guard myself until I feel better. I'm a work in progress!

3. Do you ever struggle with looking for truth in the less than flattering things people say or think about you? If so, how do you move past that?

Absolutely. For a long time, I interpreted every criticism or judgment as proof that I was a fundamentally bad person. I literally feared other people's perceptions of me because I saw each one as a mirror.

I became a chameleon, trying to be whatever I thought people would accept. And later, I adopted the "indisputably good person" persona, thinking no one could possibly judge me if I tried really hard to be a short, blond Dalai Lama.

I feel I've made tremendous progress here because I now realize that being disliked by some is a sign that I am being real---and creating the possibility of being liked by others who actually appreciate me for who I am.

To read my full interview with Lori, click here!

<3 Madison

10 Ways to Be a Nicer Person

Image source: flickr.com  

I am constantly disheartened by the meanness, rudeness and cruelty I see in the world, on the Internet, and in everyday life. Some people are just very cruel and judgmental, and I know that's never going to change. Even some of the most well-meaning people are prone to eyebrow raising meanness every now and then. It's rare to find a nice person who's nice to everyone and not just the people who are easier to be nice to. Why is everyone so hell-bent on fighting fire with fire? Why is getting along so difficult?    

No one is perfect (obviously), but I certainly don't think it would hurt if we all made a conscious effort to be a little nicer to each other. There are simple things you can do and simple things you can become more aware of to make steps towards being a better person.   

Here are 10 things I am working on and would recommend to you:

1. Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.

This is one of my favorite quotes, and I try my very best to live by it. If you want to bash something you hate in your mind or rant about it in your journal, go ahead. But don't do it out loud or post about it on Twitter and Facebook. Instead, talk about what you love and glorify that.  

2. Don't gossip.

I try to avoid gossip as much as possible, and I try to catch myself when I'm saying something negative about someone behind their back. If you have a problem with someone, go to them. Don't whine to other people about it. Also, don't spread rumors about people when you have no evidence to back up the rumors' truth...or even if you do have evidence. Spreading rumors is wrong no matter what.     

3. Be charitable.

You don't have to donate a fat check to your favorite charity every year to be considered charitable. A little can go a long way. I have a cousin who frequently packs lunches for homeless people in her area. If you have the power to help someone in need, do it. All help is good help.   

4. Don't judge.

We're all on our own journey, and we all have our own beliefs and ways of life. Don't judge someone if what they believe or how they live doesn't match what you believe or how you live. Respect other people's paths. You have no right to judge them if you've never been in their shoes.    

5. Give people a chance.

Don't make judgments or assumptions about people until you've truly gotten to know them. A lot of people think I'm anti-social or boring (maybe I sort of am) when they first meet me because I'm so quiet, awkward, and in my head. But the people who have gotten to know me as a human being have been pleasantly surprised. I know it seems easier to judge a book by its cover, but if you do, you could miss out on a great story. 

6. Be polite.

This is a simple one. Say please and thank you. Hold the door open. Smile back. Be friendly. Give people a hand. Don't ask intrusive or personal questions. You get the idea...

7. Be open-minded.

Open-mindedness is one of my favorite human qualities. An open mind leads to an open heart. Be open to what makes each person unique and worthy of love.

8. Give without expecting anything in return.

Expectation of reciprocation takes the joy out of giving. Giving simply because you want to and because it matters to you is the best kind of giving there is. To know that you helped someone or made someone's day should be reward enough.  

9. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Unfortunately, this age old rule is heartbreakingly ignored and underrated. Try to live by it anyway. If you wouldn't want someone doing or saying the thing you're about to do or say to someone else, don't do or say it. That sounds easy enough, right? 

10. Smile more. 

Last but not least, try to smile at people more often. Sharing a smile is such a simple way to be kind and brighten someone's day.

<3 Madison  

Recipe: Grilled Peanut Butter and Apple Sandwich

I made this sandwich one day when I was looking for something quick, easy and light. It was so good, and I make it all the time now. I'm sure other people have already thought of this sandwich idea before, but I'm going to share my recipe with you anyway...in a more conversational style than my previous recipe posts if you don't mind. :-) 

Here we go!

What you need:

Bread

Butter

Apple

Peanut butter 

Step 1: Preheat a griddle or skillet over low to medium heat and melt about a tablespoon of butter on it.

Step 2: Grab two slices of bread (whichever kind you like) and spread a generous amount of peanut butter on one of the slices.

Step 3: Cut up about half of an apple into thin slices and layer the slices on top of the peanut butter like so...

Step 4: Put the two slices of bread together and place your sandwich on the heated and buttered griddle or skillet. Cook for about a minute or two on each side until golden brown. 

Step 5: Omnomnomnom

Enjoy!

<3 Madison  

28 Things You Have Permission to Do

Image source: flickr.com 

I used to (and still do sometimes) spend a lot of time feeling like I had to have approval or validation before doing something. We all like knowing that we're not alone. Whenever I want to do something out of the ordinary, it's almost like a reflex to Google if anyone else is doing it too or if it's considered okay to do it. It would make me feel better to read about people who were in the same boat as I was. It made me feel like maybe I was normal after all. 

I'm far from the average Jane, but I realize now that that's okay. I'm uniquely me, and I have every right to do whatever makes me happy, regardless of whether or not it puts me at risk for judgement. And no matter what you do, you're at risk for judgment, so you might as well not even worry about being judged in the first place. 

The following list is inspired by both my own experiences and what I commonly hear other people getting flack for. I hope it gives you some reassurance. 

Here are 28 things you have permission to do... 

1. Love and commit to your job, even if the pay is mediocre

2. Be single

3. Hate social gatherings

4. Live a small life

5. Spoil your pets

6. Put your needs before other people's 

7. Choose love or kindness as a religion

8. Say no 

9. Vent  

10. Embrace the unknown

11. Create a wedding or baby board on Pinterest, even if you're not engaged or don't plan on having a baby anytime soon

12. Take a nap in the middle of the day

13. Watch daytime television while everyone else is at work

14. Be angry

15. Be sad

16. Be happy

17. Be bored

18. Be afraid 

19. Blog about whatever you want  

20. Suck at being a grown-up and then blame the school system for teaching you how to dissect frogs instead of teaching you how to do your taxes  

21. Want dessert after every meal

22. Ask for help

23. Talk to yourself in your mind...or out loud

24. Be a total mess

25. Take a huge risk for love 

26. Laugh at inappropriate jokes

27. Daydream 

28. Not wait for permission 

<3 Madison 

5 Ways to Avoid Complacency in Long-Term Relationships

Image source: flickr.com 

Like any other long-term arrangement in life, relationships can become stale and complacent if you're not self-aware. When someone becomes a regular part of your life and routine, it's almost human nature to take them for granted or assume that they'll always be around. They won't. 

All relationships should be treated with care and attention, but romantic relationships should especially get the TLC they need on a regular basis. 

Here are 5 ways to avoid complacency if you're in a long-term relationship that could use a little boost: 

1. Be thoughtful and considerate. 

Thoughtfulness is one of my absolute favorite qualities in a person, and it is a mandatory quality to have when someone else's heart is your responsibility. Extend thoughtful gestures without expecting anything in return. Be supportive and emotionally available. Pay attention to the things that matter to your significant other. Be mindful of their needs. By making a conscious effort to be more thoughtful and considerate on a day-to-day basis, the love between you and your special someone will blossom.  

2. Be playful. 

I wholeheartedly believe in the notion that the couple that plays together stays together (at least for quite awhile). Don't take life or each other too seriously. Do fun things together, play like little kids, and don't be afraid to laugh at inopportune moments.  

3. Go out on real dates.

By real date, I mean get dressed and actually go somewhere. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to watch late night movies in your pajamas or lie next to each other and read your respective books. But I wouldn't recommend making it a habit. Make an effort to go out on real dates and regularly come up with new ideas about what to do together. In the movie Date Night, Phil (Steve Carell) and Claire (Tina Fey) had a date night every week no matter how tired or stressed they were. That's an awesome idea. (Just don't steal anyone's reservation at a fancy restaurant.) 

4. Be spontaneous. 

Spontaneity usually leads to memorable moments. Ditch plans and routine every now and then, and just see where the day takes you. For example, you could take a road trip without a particular destination in mind or surprise each other with different activities throughout the day. Don't be afraid to stray from the usual and get out of your comfort zone. 

5. Consistently try new things together. 

Try to always have something new lined up to do together and look forward to. You might even want to consider making a "couple's bucket list." And after everything has been checked off the list, make a new one! Complacency results from doing the same things over and over again. Do something different every once in awhile to keep the spark alive. 

Do you have any other ideas for avoiding complacency in long-term relationships? I'd love to hear them!  

<3 Madison 

Can Money Buy Happiness?

Image source: commons.wikimedia.org 

"Money can't buy happiness." It's a classic adage that I've always embraced. But these days, I both agree and disagree with that statement. 

I certainly feel happier when I have more money coming in, as I'm sure most people do. More money gives me greater freedom and peace of mind. In fact, I've been trying to light a flame under my arse and work harder because my income is very much on the skimpy side at the moment.  

While I agree that money can't actually buy happiness (especially if you're lacking in other more important areas of your life), I definitely think it can lead to feeling happier.  

Allow me to explain my perspective...

Yes, money can contribute to happiness.

I read something in a blog post one time that really stood out to me, and I remember mentioning it once before on my other blog. It said something along the lines of, "It's fine and dandy to say that money isn't everything, but I have a landlord and a phone bill that would beg to differ." 

We all need money. It's an essential necessity in life. We have bills to pay, endless expenses to tend to, groceries to buy, etc. And quite frankly, money can buy a lot of things that lead to happiness---like ice cream and books. (Don't judge me.) 

Studies have shown that people with more money are generally happier than people with less. When the bills are paid, food is on the table, and you still have enough money left over to play with and contribute to things like vacations and entertainment, you feel happier and more secure. And financial stress is one of the greatest causes of discontentment. Being stressed out and not having the means to do the things you need and want to do doesn't exactly lead to joy. So with all of that said, I definitely believe that money contributes to happiness.   

No, money cannot buy happiness. 

So we've established that money can greatly contribute to happiness, which is almost the same as buying it. Almost. While there are lots of great things money can buy, there are even greater things that it can't.

Money can't buy love, peace, inner richness, contentment with self, kindness, friendship, respect, meaning, second chances, trust, gratitude...The list goes on and on.

To me, some of the best sources of joy are intangible and priceless. So if you're lacking the above, no amount of money can truly make you happy.


Do you think the old adage, "Money can't buy happiness" is a crock, or do you believe that the best things in life are free?

Share your thoughts if you have any!

<3 Madison