Awesome Quotes to Live By

I love quotes. I think brief, yet profound bits of wisdom make the biggest impact sometimes. Not everyone will sit through an inspiring article, but taking a second to read an inspiring quote is more likely to grab their attention and make them think. For example, the above quote certainly made me think the first time I saw it. 

I think it's a great idea to find quotes that speak to you and use them as mantras or rules for meaningful living. If you're interested in finding some great quotes to live by, check out some of my favorites!    

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it." ~ Charles Swindoll

This quote changed my whole perspective on life. I used to believe that the essence of life was made up of what happened to me. But it's the way I react to and handle what happens to me that matters. We can't always control what life throws our way, but we can control how we choose to look at those things.

"Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful." ~ Albert Schweitzer 

This has been my truth time and time again. When I'm doing something that makes me happy, I feel successful, even if there isn't fame, fortune or notoriety attached to it.

"When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you." ~ African Proverb 

I could write a book on what this quote personally means to me, but I will just simply say that when you're nice to yourself, patient with yourself and happy with yourself, external sources can't truly take those things away from you. We're our own worst enemies.

"Count your joys instead of your woes. Count your friends instead of your foes." ~ Irish Proverb

I generally have a glass half full perspective on life. It's draining to complain about everything that is wrong and everyone who has treated me unfairly. I'd much rather focus on the things I love and the people who make me happy...And surround myself with people who do the same.

"If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind." ~ Buddha 

This is a great rule of thumb. We all need to be nicer to each other.

"Until you stop breathing, there is more right with you than wrong with you." ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn 

This is just an encouraging little truth to remind you of your incredible worth as a living, breathing human.

"Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is." ~ H. Jackson Browne 

I love this little quote. It's so clever and wise. You will always be rewarded for the risks you take in one way or another.

"To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson 

This is probably one of my all-time favorite quotes. I used to measure my worth as a person on how successful or accomplished I was---in school, in work, in life in general. The fact that I live my life slow, suck at being an adult, and usually feel ten steps behind everyone else makes me feel like a complete failure sometimes. But then I think about all the people who have felt inspired by me and my work over the past couple of years. That, my friends, is success. Helping other people is what truly makes you successful.

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not." ~ Unknown

This is a rather life-changing notion. I think we're all guilty of thinking limiting thoughts such as, "I can't do that. That's not who I am. That's not what I'm good at." The moment you tell yourself you can't do something, your reality will show you reasons to believe it. But kicking limiting beliefs to the curb and giving yourself a chance will cultivate results. Always.

"Let go or be dragged." ~ American Proverb

Self-explanatory. What is dragging you down? Whatever it is, let go of it. It really is that simple. I do it all the time.

Do you have a favorite quote?

<3 Madison

The Branches of Love

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Lately I've been thinking about what I consider to be the "branches" of love. For instance, a couple of the more simple branches include passion and infatuation, and a couple of the deeper ones include respect and companionship. Based on what I've learned and observed about love, if a relationship involves all the different branches of love, it will be a pretty happy and successful one. 

Let's take a look! 

Infatuation

This is the fluttery, euphoric feeling you get when entering a new relationship with someone you really like. You're in awe of them and think they're the best human on the face of the planet. You experience a lot of stupid grinning and incessant daydreaming. I do believe that it's possible to somewhat sustain this feeling long term with a little effort. You have to keep newness, playfulness and spontaneity alive as much as possible, and if you do that, you can bring those "honeymoon phase" feelings back into the relationship as often as possible.  

Passion & affection

Self-explanatory. This is the physical branch of love. It's the closeness and affection you give to and get from your partner. Showing affection is important in romantic relationships. Sometimes physical contact speaks louder than words alone. 

Comfort

This branch means being able to be yourself around your partner. It means you can talk to them and relax around them. You're not monitoring your every word and action for the sake of trying to gain their approval. You can just be. Relationships should provide comfort and contentment, not fear and judgment.  

Companionship

This branch means being best friends with your partner. You can open up to them, mess around with them, and genuinely enjoy spending time with them. You actually like them as a person. When infatuation wears thin, you need companionship to keep things on track. Companionship runs so much deeper than the honeymoon phase. If there's no genuine connection or companionship underneath infatuation and physical affection, a relationship can't survive.    

Respect

Respect and companionship go hand in hand. If two people admire each other and have mutual respect for each other, that's one of the single best things for their relationship. It used to kind of bother me when I would see older couples who had been married for years not be all "lovey dovey" with each other. I used to think, "So that's what happens when you marry someone. You lose interest in the best part of relationships." But being lovey dovey isn't the best part. Admiring and respecting your partner so much that there's no one else you'd rather be with (even in the midst of fights, diaper changes, individual stresses, general day-to-day dullness, etc.) is the best part. I think that's the part that keeps people together long term.      

Trust

This one is self-explanatory as well. It means you trust your partner and feel physically and emotionally safe with them. Trust isn't always an easy thing in relationships, especially if you've been hurt before. I don't think anyone's heart is ever totally safe. When you love someone, you always risk getting deeply hurt by them. But I read a quote one time that said, "You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment if you don't trust enough." Sometimes you just have to trust. Trust love. Trust yourself. Trust that no matter what happens, the universe has a plan. Trust that the people who truly care about you will look out for you and do their best to protect your faith in them.  

Commitment

This is the largest and strongest branch of the love tree. Commitment is the desire and willingness to stand by each other through the long haul. This is the branch that leads to marriage and/or long term relationships.

Thanks for reading, and may you find an abundantly fruitful love tree someday. :-)

<3 Madison

The Top 12 Taylor Swift Break-Up Songs

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I don't care what anyone says about her. I love Taylor Swift and think she's one of the most talented song writers ever. People are always whining about how she writes too many break-up songs. Okay...

A) Who doesn't? Love and heartbreak are extremely relevant and popular topics to write about.  

B) They're damn good break-up songs if you ask me. 

This list isn't based on her most popular or controversial songs. It's simply based on what I believe to be her best break-up songs yet---the ones that have personally punched me in the soul over the years, whether I was going through a relationship woe or not. Some of these I can relate to and some of them I cannot. Either way, they're all great songs. 

Let the countdown begin! 

12. Tim McGraw

This was her first single ever, and the lyrics are so brilliant and bittersweet. It's about having to say goodbye to someone you know you can't be with anymore. In the song, she documents everything that will help the person it was written about remember her---like the fact that her favorite song is a Tim McGraw song and she wore old faded blue jeans. I can't help but feel a little pang when I listen to this song. 

11. Forever & Always

This song is fast-paced, which I think is kind of symbolic of the fast-paced manner in which the relationship it was written about unraveled. It really sucks when someone seems genuinely invested in you and you become genuinely invested in them as well, and then they just change their mind out of nowhere. No more phone calls, no more texts, no more acknowledgment of your existence or your broken heart. It's an ouch, and I've certainly been there before.   

10. Cold As You

This song is so emotional and raw. I think it's one of her best songs ever, yet it's so underrated. It starts off soft and then builds to a soul-shattering bridge. It's all about giving parts of yourself away to a person who couldn't care less about them...or you.    

9. You're Not Sorry

This is one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs ever. I love the sad piano and violin sounds that are incorporated in it, and the lyrics are so relevant, bold and heartbreaking. When someone says they're sorry, you so desperately want to believe them and continue giving them chances. But I think that moment where you realize that they're not sorry and that you're not going to let them hurt you anymore is a beautiful moment. It's an incredibly brave and vulnerable moment. This song was clearly written about one of those moments, and the message is portrayed beautifully and flawlessly.   

8. Breathe (ft. Colbie Caillat) 

This song is so sad and pretty. It's about having to say goodbye to somebody, even if you can't breathe without them. And one of the things I love about it is that it doesn't specify who did what wrong. It's just about knowing that it's time for two people to go their separate ways and accepting that it just didn't work out. 

7. If This Was a Movie

I think almost everyone is guilty of expecting romantic comedy outcomes in their relationships. For example, the guy of your dreams dumps you and then shows up on your porch in the pouring rain two hours later to tell you he made the biggest mistake of his life and can't live without you. Or the object of your affection epically hurts your feelings and then stands outside your bedroom window tossing pebbles until you come out and accept their sincerest apology. But real life relationships rarely work out that way. This song is about pining away for a happy ending that will never come. I've been there as well, and it's a terrible feeling. It's very difficult to separate the way you want things to be from the way things actually are---and will remain. 

6. I Almost Do

This song is very simple, but very relevant. I think the lyrics are so universally applicable, which is what I love about it. One of the most difficult things ever is restraining yourself from contacting the person who broke your heart because you know that they will just break your heart again if you willingly re-open your doors. It can be so tempting to send that "I miss you" text or make that midnight love declaring phone call. And every time you don't send that text or make that call, you almost do. And that's what this song is about.   

5. Dear John

Coming in at 6 minutes and 46 seconds, this is one of Taylor's longest and most lyrically rich songs. I love it so much. One of my favorite lyrics in it is, "Don't you think I was too young to be messed with? The girl in the dress cried the whole way home." You can just see her sitting in the back of a cab, wearing a dress and crying the whole way home...or a similar vision. It's scathing, it's raw, it's beautiful, it's honest, and ultimately, it's triumphant. "I took your matches before fire could catch me, so don't look now. I'm shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town."      

4. White Horse

This is a classic Taylor Swift song. There's a vulnerability, innocence and naivety about it that I think we can all relate to. It makes me think about the first time I realized that not all love stories have happy endings and that people are going to disappoint you when it's the last thing you expect. It's such a sad, simple little song.    

3. Back to December

The interesting and unique thing about this song is that Taylor is singing about breaking someone else's heart instead of someone breaking hers. She longingly looks back on a good, loving relationship that she gave up and apologizes to the other person for the way things ended. She also admits that she misses this person and wishes she could make things right again. By breaking his heart, she kind of ended up breaking her own as well. This song is raw, relevant, and beautifully confessional.   

2. Last Kiss

I saw Taylor's Speak Now show back in 2011, and when she performed this song, I pretty much cried throughout the entire performance. You could feel the sadness and profound sense of connection in that arena. Everyone was so quiet and everyone was crying and Taylor was crying and it was just really intense and beautiful at the same time. This song is really difficult to listen to. It's about losing someone that you will always love. It's about looking back on when everything was good and real. I love how Taylor always builds up to epic, heartbreaking bridges. This song has one of those. When she belts out lines like, "I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep, and I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe," you can't help but die a little inside. I do, and I've never even gone through a break-up like this before.   

1. All Too Well  

It's hard for me to get through this song without crying. She said in an interview that this song followed a 6-month creative dry spell. She was so numb and devastated by this break-up that she couldn't even write about it at first. When she finally did sit down to write a song about it (for the sake of closure), she had a hard time putting her thoughts and feelings into words. So she just started telling the story and recounting the memories one by one. Eventually, this song was born. And again, I've never gone through a break-up like this before---the earth-shattering kind that almost feels equivalent to losing a loved one. (Which kind of scares me because doesn't everybody go through at least one of those in their lifetime?) But this song still makes me incredibly sad because it's just so eloquent, raw and descriptive. When you listen to it, you can't help but picture yourself in every experience that is being re-told. I think it's her best break-up song to date.

Do you have a favorite Taylor Swift break-up song that didn't make the list?

<3 Madison    

Wedding Day Playlist (Courtesy of my iPod)

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I have a playlist on my iPod called "Favorite love songs." I know love songs aren't everyone's favorite, but if you have a special someone in your life, or especially if you're planning to marry a special someone, love songs just feel like icing on the cupcake of your heart.   

I think the music you choose to play at your wedding is important, whether it's the song you walk down the aisle to or the pre-ceremony music you have playing as your guests arrive. Your music choices should set the tone for your wedding and be a good representation of you and your future spouse. 

With that said, I want to share 30 of the songs on my "favorite love songs" playlist in case you're feeling stuck about which songs to incorporate into your special day.

Enjoy!

1. "All In" by Lifehouse

2. "Arms" by Christina Perri

3. "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol

4. "Come and Save Me" by Gloriana

5. "Enchanted" by Taylor Swift 

6. "Falling Slowly" by The Frames

7. "First Day of My Life" by Bright Eyes 

8. "Glitter in the Air" by P!nk

9. "Here in Your Arms" by HelloGoodbye 

10. "Ho Hey" by The Lumineers

11. "Home" by Phillip Phillips

12. "I'm Only Me When I'm With You" by Taylor Swift 

13. "(I Can't Help) Falling in Love With You" by Ingrid Michaelson 

14. "I Do" by Colbie Caillat 

15. "I Won't Give Up" by Jason Mraz

16. "Love Story" by Taylor Swift

17. "Mama's Song" by Carrie Underwood 

18. "Mary's Song (Oh My My My)" by Taylor Swift

19. "Mine" by Taylor Swift

20. "November Rain" by Guns N' Roses

21. "The Only Exception" by Paramore

22. "Penguin" by Christina Perri

23. "Rhythm of Love" by Plain White T's

24. "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri 

25. "Til Kingdom Come" by Coldplay 

26. "Truly Madly Deeply" by Savage Garden

27. "Unchained Melody" by Righteous Brothers

28. "You're Still the One" by Shania Twain 

29. "You and Me" by Lifehouse

30. "1,2,3,4" by Plain White T's 

What are some of your favorite love songs? 

<3 Madison 

Recipe: Mini Pancake Sandwiches (with Black Raspberry Chocolate Chip Ice Cream and Fresh Raspberries)

One of my favorite shows on Food Network is Giada at Home. This recipe was featured on her show a few weeks ago, and since Target didn't have any raspberry sorbet, I got the next best thing---black raspberry chocolate chip ice cream. It's the only part of the recipe I tweaked.

Want to try it? Of course you do.

Ingredients

1 cup pancake mix

3/4 cup water

1 1/2 tablespoons butter

1 cup chocolate chips

1/2 cup heavy whipping cream

Black raspberry chocolate chip ice cream 

Fresh raspberries

Directions

For chocolate sauce:

1. Melt chocolate chips and heavy whipping cream together, and stir until a smooth mixture forms. (I melted mine in a small saucepan over low heat.) 

2. Once melted, set aside. 

For mini pancake sandwiches:

1. Preheat a griddle or large skillet over medium heat.

2. Mix pancake mix and water together until blended.

3. Melt butter on griddle or skillet.

4. For each pancake, add 1 tablespoon of batter to the griddle or skillet.

5. Cook each pancake for about 1 to 1 1/2 minutes on each side (until golden brown). 

6. Put pancakes on a plate and let them cool completely. 

7. Put 1 teaspoon of black raspberry chocolate chip ice cream between two pancakes; press together lightly. 

8. Top pancake sandwiches with chocolate sauce and fresh raspberries. (Don't forget to wash the raspberries first.)  

Enjoy!

<3 Madison  

Remembering to Love Your Family (Why We Take Each Other for Granted)

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I take my family for granted about 7 or 8 times out of 10. I suspect a lot of us do. It's natural and common to fall into a routine with our families and become attached to the "Oh, they'll always be there" mindset.

"I don't have time to play with my child right now. I'll do it tomorrow...or next week."
"It feels too awkward to tell my brother I love him. It's not like we'll never see each other again!"
"It's not really a big deal if I hurt my mom's feelings. She'll forgive me and love me no matter what."

I guess it's true that the people we take for granted the most are the people we love the most. We assume that we'll always be forgiven for our mistakes. We assume the people we love will always be there. We deflect the reality of death and ignore the possibility that our family relationships can become irreparably damaged if we're not careful.

I try to stay aware of these truths and remember to love my family the way I know they love me.

Here are a few simple things you can start doing to better nurture your relationships with your family members:

Eat meals together.

This is such a simple way to feel more connected to your family, yet it's something that lots of families don't do. We use conflicting schedules and several other factors as an excuse to not sit down and enjoy a meal together. Whenever I share a meal with a family member or multiple family members, I'm filled with a sense of connection and comfort. In fact, studies show that families who eat meals together have increased communication, higher brain power, and improved nutrition.  

Have regular heart-to-hearts. 

Nothing quite nurtures my soul like a good heart-to-heart. It's important to have open communication with your family and feel comfortable enough to come to each other for advice and support---no matter what. Being able to engage in deep conversation and open up to one another is vital to the success of any relationship.

Don't miss things.

Try to be active in the lives of your family members. Attend weddings, graduations, talent shows, award ceremonies, etc. And if you can't make it to a certain event, be sure to send your love to the people who wanted you there. I try my best not to miss things. Everyone needs love and support on their big days.

Pick up the phone.

I, personally, am not much of a phone talker. And that's okay. If you don't want to keep in touch via telephone, then text or send emails. Stay in touch with your family, and respond accordingly when they try to stay in touch with you.

Plan bonding activities. 

Living under the same roof isn't what bonds you to another person. Spending quality time together and planning fun activities regularly is what bonds you to another person. Visit amusement parks, go on picnics, have family movie nights, take trips together, etc. Plan things. Do things. Enjoy things.

Be playful and silly. 

I know I've warmed up to a person when my guard comes down and I can just be goofy and playful with them. Don't take yourself or your family so seriously. Be lighthearted, joke around, and make time to play.

Apologize. 

I think the notion that love means never having to say you're sorry is bullshit. (Pardon my French.) When you make mistakes and say hurtful things (which you will), be brave enough to apologize. Hearing the words "I'm sorry" is like music to my ears, especially when I know that the other person truly means it and swallowed their pride long enough to let me know.  

Say "I love you" more often...and mean it. 

I feel like some people either don't say "I love you" enough, or they say it too much (in a rehearsed, obligatory way). You should say those three words often, but you should also feel those three words. It's easy to tell when someone is throwing out the phrase out of habit or if they're truly speaking from their heart. Think about the words, feel the words, and then say the words. And if you never say "I love you" or don't say it enough, start saying it. But only if you mean it.

<3 Madison

Love Doesn't Come with a Rulebook

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One of the very first posts I wrote for my other blog, Journey of a Soul Searcher was titled "Life doesn't come with a rulebook." That was one of the biggest realizations I ever had, and it has been somewhat of a mantra of mine ever since. 

I think the same thing applies to love. I hear so many "rules" about love, dating and relationships that it makes my head spin. You can read just about any magazine article on the subject and find a laundry list of things you should and shouldn't do. I also hear a lot about what you should and shouldn't do from popular society in general. 

Here are a few of the ones I've heard just to give you some examples:

"Always let the guy make the first move."

"It's not morally acceptable to date someone of the same sex, someone with a different skin color, someone with a different religion, etc."

"The point of life is marriage and making babies."

"If you're single by choice, something must be wrong with you."

"You have to mingle---constantly. You must say hi to every attractive human you come into contact with, or you will die alone with nine cats."

"You must wait "X" number of days to call the object of your affection after the first date, first kiss, first whatever."

"Premarital cohabitation is a despicable sin."

"Premarital sex is an even more despicable sin." 

"You have to find your "other half" in order to become "complete." 

"Never kiss on the first date."

"Marrying young (or old) is a bad idea."

"Actually letting a relationship unfold naturally without monitoring your every move, word and action is a total turnoff."

The list goes on and on. 

When it comes to life and love, I am a huge advocate of just following your heart. Who wants to obsess over every little detail and wonder if they're doing and saying the right things? It puts a ton of pressure on people, and it puts a ton of pressure on relationships. Just be natural, and let things happen. Feel your feelings. Share your thoughts. Say "I love you" when you mean it and anytime you want after that. Make decisions because you want to, not because you think you have to. Love is way too rare and beautiful to have fifty billion rules and limits anchored to it.  

Some relationships will be good, and some won't. It doesn't always have to be a matter of who did what wrong. Either you're compatible with somebody or you're not. Either the love is mutual or it's not. 

The only complicated thing about love is that people make it complicated by coming up with all these rules. 

Want to know how to make it simpler? Break the rules.

<3 Madison