Love Doesn't Come with a Rulebook

Image source: flickr.com  

One of the very first posts I wrote for my other blog, Journey of a Soul Searcher was titled "Life doesn't come with a rulebook." That was one of the biggest realizations I ever had, and it has been somewhat of a mantra of mine ever since. 

I think the same thing applies to love. I hear so many "rules" about love, dating and relationships that it makes my head spin. You can read just about any magazine article on the subject and find a laundry list of things you should and shouldn't do. I also hear a lot about what you should and shouldn't do from popular society in general. 

Here are a few of the ones I've heard just to give you some examples:

"Always let the guy make the first move."

"It's not morally acceptable to date someone of the same sex, someone with a different skin color, someone with a different religion, etc."

"The point of life is marriage and making babies."

"If you're single by choice, something must be wrong with you."

"You have to mingle---constantly. You must say hi to every attractive human you come into contact with, or you will die alone with nine cats."

"You must wait "X" number of days to call the object of your affection after the first date, first kiss, first whatever."

"Premarital cohabitation is a despicable sin."

"Premarital sex is an even more despicable sin." 

"You have to find your "other half" in order to become "complete." 

"Never kiss on the first date."

"Marrying young (or old) is a bad idea."

"Actually letting a relationship unfold naturally without monitoring your every move, word and action is a total turnoff."

The list goes on and on. 

When it comes to life and love, I am a huge advocate of just following your heart. Who wants to obsess over every little detail and wonder if they're doing and saying the right things? It puts a ton of pressure on people, and it puts a ton of pressure on relationships. Just be natural, and let things happen. Feel your feelings. Share your thoughts. Say "I love you" when you mean it and anytime you want after that. Make decisions because you want to, not because you think you have to. Love is way too rare and beautiful to have fifty billion rules and limits anchored to it.  

Some relationships will be good, and some won't. It doesn't always have to be a matter of who did what wrong. Either you're compatible with somebody or you're not. Either the love is mutual or it's not. 

The only complicated thing about love is that people make it complicated by coming up with all these rules. 

Want to know how to make it simpler? Break the rules.

<3 Madison