I take my family for granted about 7 or 8 times out of 10. I suspect a lot of us do. It's natural and common to fall into a routine with our families and become attached to the "Oh, they'll always be there" mindset.
"I don't have time to play with my child right now. I'll do it tomorrow...or next week."
"It feels too awkward to tell my brother I love him. It's not like we'll never see each other again!"
"It's not really a big deal if I hurt my mom's feelings. She'll forgive me and love me no matter what."
I guess it's true that the people we take for granted the most are the people we love the most. We assume that we'll always be forgiven for our mistakes. We assume the people we love will always be there. We deflect the reality of death and ignore the possibility that our family relationships can become irreparably damaged if we're not careful.
I try to stay aware of these truths and remember to love my family the way I know they love me.
Here are a few simple things you can start doing to better nurture your relationships with your family members:
Eat meals together.
This is such a simple way to feel more connected to your family, yet it's something that lots of families don't do. We use conflicting schedules and several other factors as an excuse to not sit down and enjoy a meal together. Whenever I share a meal with a family member or multiple family members, I'm filled with a sense of connection and comfort. In fact, studies show that families who eat meals together have increased communication, higher brain power, and improved nutrition.
Have regular heart-to-hearts.
Nothing quite nurtures my soul like a good heart-to-heart. It's important to have open communication with your family and feel comfortable enough to come to each other for advice and support---no matter what. Being able to engage in deep conversation and open up to one another is vital to the success of any relationship.
Don't miss things.
Try to be active in the lives of your family members. Attend weddings, graduations, talent shows, award ceremonies, etc. And if you can't make it to a certain event, be sure to send your love to the people who wanted you there. I try my best not to miss things. Everyone needs love and support on their big days.
Pick up the phone.
I, personally, am not much of a phone talker. And that's okay. If you don't want to keep in touch via telephone, then text or send emails. Stay in touch with your family, and respond accordingly when they try to stay in touch with you.
Plan bonding activities.
Living under the same roof isn't what bonds you to another person. Spending quality time together and planning fun activities regularly is what bonds you to another person. Visit amusement parks, go on picnics, have family movie nights, take trips together, etc. Plan things. Do things. Enjoy things.
Be playful and silly.
I know I've warmed up to a person when my guard comes down and I can just be goofy and playful with them. Don't take yourself or your family so seriously. Be lighthearted, joke around, and make time to play.
Apologize.
I think the notion that love means never having to say you're sorry is bullshit. (Pardon my French.) When you make mistakes and say hurtful things (which you will), be brave enough to apologize. Hearing the words "I'm sorry" is like music to my ears, especially when I know that the other person truly means it and swallowed their pride long enough to let me know.
Say "I love you" more often...and mean it.
I feel like some people either don't say "I love you" enough, or they say it too much (in a rehearsed, obligatory way). You should say those three words often, but you should also feel those three words. It's easy to tell when someone is throwing out the phrase out of habit or if they're truly speaking from their heart. Think about the words, feel the words, and then say the words. And if you never say "I love you" or don't say it enough, start saying it. But only if you mean it.
<3 Madison
"I don't have time to play with my child right now. I'll do it tomorrow...or next week."
"It feels too awkward to tell my brother I love him. It's not like we'll never see each other again!"
"It's not really a big deal if I hurt my mom's feelings. She'll forgive me and love me no matter what."
I guess it's true that the people we take for granted the most are the people we love the most. We assume that we'll always be forgiven for our mistakes. We assume the people we love will always be there. We deflect the reality of death and ignore the possibility that our family relationships can become irreparably damaged if we're not careful.
I try to stay aware of these truths and remember to love my family the way I know they love me.
Here are a few simple things you can start doing to better nurture your relationships with your family members:
Eat meals together.
This is such a simple way to feel more connected to your family, yet it's something that lots of families don't do. We use conflicting schedules and several other factors as an excuse to not sit down and enjoy a meal together. Whenever I share a meal with a family member or multiple family members, I'm filled with a sense of connection and comfort. In fact, studies show that families who eat meals together have increased communication, higher brain power, and improved nutrition.
Have regular heart-to-hearts.
Nothing quite nurtures my soul like a good heart-to-heart. It's important to have open communication with your family and feel comfortable enough to come to each other for advice and support---no matter what. Being able to engage in deep conversation and open up to one another is vital to the success of any relationship.
Don't miss things.
Try to be active in the lives of your family members. Attend weddings, graduations, talent shows, award ceremonies, etc. And if you can't make it to a certain event, be sure to send your love to the people who wanted you there. I try my best not to miss things. Everyone needs love and support on their big days.
Pick up the phone.
I, personally, am not much of a phone talker. And that's okay. If you don't want to keep in touch via telephone, then text or send emails. Stay in touch with your family, and respond accordingly when they try to stay in touch with you.
Plan bonding activities.
Living under the same roof isn't what bonds you to another person. Spending quality time together and planning fun activities regularly is what bonds you to another person. Visit amusement parks, go on picnics, have family movie nights, take trips together, etc. Plan things. Do things. Enjoy things.
Be playful and silly.
I know I've warmed up to a person when my guard comes down and I can just be goofy and playful with them. Don't take yourself or your family so seriously. Be lighthearted, joke around, and make time to play.
Apologize.
I think the notion that love means never having to say you're sorry is bullshit. (Pardon my French.) When you make mistakes and say hurtful things (which you will), be brave enough to apologize. Hearing the words "I'm sorry" is like music to my ears, especially when I know that the other person truly means it and swallowed their pride long enough to let me know.
Say "I love you" more often...and mean it.
I feel like some people either don't say "I love you" enough, or they say it too much (in a rehearsed, obligatory way). You should say those three words often, but you should also feel those three words. It's easy to tell when someone is throwing out the phrase out of habit or if they're truly speaking from their heart. Think about the words, feel the words, and then say the words. And if you never say "I love you" or don't say it enough, start saying it. But only if you mean it.
<3 Madison
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