21 Things to Do If You're Unemployed

I love the above quote. Work is important, and we all have to make a living somehow, but it annoys me when people perpetually glorify and emphasize how busy they are. I think most people do it to feel validated...myself included. I'm guilty of saying things like, "I've been super busy lately." And even if I really have been busy, in the back of my mind, I'm hoping the comment somehow validated my worth as a human.

I've been somewhat unemployed for the past few weeks. I've had days of feeling embarrassed, worthless, depressed and unproductive, but the more I think about unemployment, the more I think of it as a blessing in disguise. You have every right to want to punch me in the face for that, but it's true. When we're not working, we give ourselves the opportunity to focus on other important matters aside from working---like self-care, kindness, playtime, the people we love, and therapeutic soul searching. It's easy to neglect all of those things when you're "super busy." 

So without further ado, I would like to present 21 things you can do if you're unemployed:

1. Stay in your pajamas all day. 

2. Do something good for your community. 

3. Catch up on sleep. 

4. Have a movie day---alone or with friends. 

5. Check something off your bucket list. 

6. Spend a few days (or longer) with a close relative or friend. 

7. Go for an aimless walk or drive just to see where you end up. 

8. Go around town and see how many random acts of kindness you can perform within 24 hours (or more).  

9. Bake some goodies you've been meaning to try, and display them in an "all you can eat buffet" fashion for your family or friends.   

10. Take up a new hobby. 

11. Write and mail some letters. 

12. Renovate or clean your home. 

13. Spend a day or two at the beach...or park...or wherever you want.  

14. Indulge in a guilty pleasure without feeling guilty about it at all. 

15. Plan a stay-cation. 

16. Set some new goals. 

17. Learn a new skill. 

18. Ask yourself what you really want to do and then do it. 

19. Use the extra time on your hands to assist people who don't have as much. For example, offer to clean, babysit, or run errands for someone who has been particularly busy lately. 

20. Get to know yourself---truly and deeply. 

21. Keep looking for work. 

<3 Madison 

  

Recipe: Kit-Kat Cookie Bars

I love Kit-Kat bars, and I love cookies. So clearly, this delicious baked dessert makes me really happy. It's a pretty big hit with all my brave taste testers, and it's super easy to make.

Check out the recipe! 

Ingredients

2 rolls Pillsbury sugar cookie dough

2 Kit-Kat bars

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

Directions 

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Grease large baking pan.

3. Chop Kit-Kat bars into bite-sized squares and set aside.

4. Combine sugar cookie dough, vanilla, and Kit-Kat bar squares into a large bowl and mold until dough forms. (You may want to use your (clean) hands to mold the dough. That's what I do.) 

5. Spread dough evenly into baking pan. (Again, you will probably have to use your hands to press it all down in there.)

6. Poke holes in dough with a fork. (This will prevent the dough from rising too much. You want your bars to be flat.)

7. Bake for 20-25 minutes.

8. Let cool for 10-15 minutes.

9. Refrigerate for about 1 hour.

10. Cut into bars.

Enjoy! 

<3 Madison   

Dating Advice That Sucks

Image source: flickr.com 

I already expressed how I felt about love "rules" in my post, Love Doesn't Come with a Rulebook. But there are certain specific nuggets of dating advice that I hear time and time again that make me want to punch whoever came up with the advice in the first place. For the longest time, I listened to and believed such advice and thought there was something wrong with me if I decided to ignore it---that it would be (like, OMG) a total turnoff if I didn't do everything the "right way." 

I'm here to tell you that you have my permission and the permission of every other person who hates the following advice to break these commonly distributed dating rules:  

1. Always let the guy make the first move, let the guys chase you, etc.

This advice is sexist and highly overrated. Who cares if a girl makes the first move? I cannot fathom what could possibly be wrong with that. I read something on a blog one time that said something like, "Guys are animals. You need to let them chase you. If a guy doesn't have the confidence or "balls" to make the first move, he doesn't deserve you." That is so demeaning. Guys can be just as nervous as girls. It doesn't mean they don't deserve you. And if you're attracted to a guy, how the hell is he supposed to know if you don't approach him? This piece of advice probably gets under my skin the most. 

2. Being single by choice is abnormal. 

According to popular culture, it is practically a crime to be single by choice. Being in a relationship or getting married isn't a universal requirement of all mankind. If you don't want to date or prefer being independent, and you're totally happy that way, no one has the right to tell you to "hook up with someone already." So many people get into relationships because they think they're supposed to be in one. You do not have to do anything you don't want to do. God will not reach down from the heavens and slap you in the face if you choose to stay single. I swear.  

3. If you date someone with a different background, (cultural, religious, etc.) your relationship is doomed to fail. 

Wow. Whatever happened to acceptance and equality? Most people seem to think that dating people who have all the same things in common with you will prevent conflict later on down the road, but I have a news flash for those people. Every relationship faces conflict at some point, no matter how agreeable a couple is. Love is about accepting people as they are and meeting in the middle when conflict arises. Two people with different cultural or religious backgrounds can be happy by simply accepting and loving each other---differences and all. 

4. Play hard to get (or any other game for that matter).

I really hate dating advice that implies that you have to play games in order to win someone over. That doesn't work. And playing hard to get? That especially doesn't work. If you act like you're not interested in the person pursuing you, they will move on to someone who is. Love isn't a game. Either be with someone or don't.   

5. Say yes to every first date.  

I turned down this guy in high school once, and two of his friends called me horrible names, followed me around, and passed me harassing notes in English class for weeks---all because I didn't want to go out with their friend, whom I didn't even know. Plus, I wasn't even allowed to date at the time. But anyway, if the guy who wanted to go out with me was anything like his lovely friends or if he was the one who put them up to harassing me, I'm pretty glad I said no. If the thought of going out with someone makes you feel scared for your life or uncomfortable in any way, it's obviously okay to say no. Besides, would you rather go out with someone knowing full well that it will never work out, or would you rather just say no upfront and save both of you the potential drama and discomfort of the whole situation? I choose the latter.

What's the worst dating advice you've ever heard?

<3 Madison    

How to Deal with Overwhelming Wedding Emotions

Image source: flickr.com 

Weddings generally tend to evoke a lot of emotion, especially from the bride and groom. It's natural to feel a wide range of emotions when preparing for any huge commitment. I can only imagine the kinds of feelings that swim through brides and grooms on the big day.  

If your own wedding is coming up and you're having a hard time taming or making sense of any of the following emotions, maybe these tips and insights will help calm the waves.

Anxiety

I read a blog post the other day from a newlywed who claimed to have thrown up a few times upon waking up the day of her wedding. I also hear a lot about how some brides forget or even intentionally fail to eat meals on the day of their wedding because they're so nervous. Worries can pile on top of worries in your head and easily lead to intense anxiety.  

- Talk to your future spouse to see if he or she is feeling the same way. Remind yourself that you're both in this together. 

- Stay busy and distracted in the hours leading up to your wedding. Surround yourself with friends, celebrate your impending marriage, and have a good time! The trick is to get out of your own head. Your head will try to create problems that didn't exist in the first place. 

- Call a married friend or relative for advice and support. Talking to someone who has been in your shoes will more than likely help you feel calmer and less alone. 

- Pray. And if you're not a religious person, try surrendering your worries to the universe and trusting that your big day will be wonderful and jam-packed with love, joy and excitement.    

Stress

Wedding planning and weddings in general can be stressful and nerve-wracking. It's very common to feel overwhelmed about everything and worry about what all could go wrong. It has even been said that planning a wedding is one of the most stressful feats a person can encounter. 

- Don't procrastinate on anything. Plan ahead, and start checking things off your to-do list as soon as you've set a wedding date. The sooner you accomplish everything that needs to be accomplished, the sooner you can put those things out of your mind.

- Let people help you. Hire a wedding planner if necessary. Do your wedding planning research and accept support from family, friends and your fiance. A little extra help and support can go a long way.

- Stay within your budget, and be realistic about how much you can afford. 

- Stay organized. Don't shy away from to-do lists, budget spreadsheets, organizers, etc.  

Doubt

So you just got engaged or your wedding day is steadily approaching, and suddenly you have to wonder what the hell you're getting yourself into. Pet peeves and potential deal breakers from your future spouse start jumping out at you from every angle, your pessimistic friend is telling you about divorce statistics, and seeing that ring on your finger makes you want to throw up in your mouth a little bit. 

- Write down a long list of reasons why you love your fiance and want to share the rest of your life with him or her. Push the nasty voice of doubt and negativity out of your mind long enough to bring your focus back to love and happiness. You're not delusional. You're just scared...And that's okay.

- Spend some quality time with your future spouse. For example, plan a mini-vacation and commit to not talking about the wedding while you're away. Give yourself some space from all the stress, pressure and Negative Nancys, and allow yourself to get drunk off of nothing but the love of your life for a few days.   

- Challenge your doubts. Whenever a new doubt pops up in your mind, question it. Look at it from every angle. If you can find no logical reason behind the doubt, kick it to the curb. 

- Write down your feelings, or talk about them with a friend, relative or counselor. Get them out in a way that feels right and therapeutic to you, whether verbally or artistically.     

Emotional Bliss

I'm a very emotional person. I cry all the time---when I'm sad, when I'm angry, when I'm discouraged, when I'm happy, etc. If/when I ever get married, I will probably cry throughout the entire occasion. It's very common and almost inevitable for a bride and groom to shed overwhelmingly happy tears before, during or after their wedding ceremony---especially during surreal or loving moments such as the bride walking down the aisle, the reciting of wedding vows, or the first dance. 

- Be in the moment, and give yourself permission to get emotional. If you suppress your unadulterated joy, you might regret it later because you will be focusing more on trying not to cry and less on truly being present in each beautiful moment with your future spouse. Getting emotional during your wedding is a normal and beautiful thing.

- Wear waterproof mascara.

- Have tissues or a handkerchief close at hand. Especially if you're like me and you cry profusely out of your nose instead of your eyes. Yuck.

- Smile through your tears to avoid ugly crying photos. Smiling with tears in your eyes makes your eyes sparkle.      

Melancholy

Getting married will evoke lots of joy, but it may also evoke feelings of sadness or melancholy. Marriage is a giant leap from your old life. You may feel worried about how it will affect your existing relationships or how it will change your life as a whole. Your parents might be emotional or say things like, "I can't believe my little girl (or boy) is getting married," which can make you feel emotional right along with them. And let's not forget about the post-wedding blues---that feeling of not quite knowing what to do with your life after your big day has finally come and gone.

- Spend plenty of quality time with your loved ones before your wedding day. Take mom out to dinner, plan a weekend getaway with your friends, spend a few nights with a close relative, etc. You can easily get caught up in planning a wedding and preparing to spend your life with your "main squeeze," so it's important to show all your other squeezes that you still want to spend time with them too. Making a point to do this might take the edge off the sadness of change and transition.

- Talk about your feelings with your spouse. He or she might be feeling the same way. Again, you're both in this together now.

- Shift your perspective. Instead of feeling sad after your wedding is over, try getting excited about the next chapter of your life with your new spouse. Your wedding is only the beginning of the wonderful memories the two of you will make together.

- Set new goals. Planning a wedding takes up a lot of time, energy and attention. After it's over, you may feel profoundly unproductive. But instead of looking over your shoulder, look ahead and focus on what you want to accomplish next in your life.

<3 Madison     

18 Quotes About Love from Keltie Colleen

Keltie and her future husband

Image source: aprettyheart.com

Keltie Colleen is one of my favorite bloggers/humans. She has been motivating and inspiring me since the day I discovered her over on her old blog, High Kicks and High Hopes. I've been a loyal "moonbeamer" ever since. (She calls her readers moonbeamers.) 

Keltie is getting married one month from today. She has experienced many ins and outs of love and has shared a vast majority of them in her book and on her blog. On a particularly melancholy and unproductive day awhile back, I found myself gathering up some of my favorite quotes about love from her. And as her big day approaches, I'm just dying to share them.  

These quotes are honest, relevant, inspiring and beautifully worded. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.

1. "Am I ruining my relationship because I'm scared of forever or scared that I won't be able to live up to being someone's forever? Was it easier to love people from afar? Was it easier to save people than to have people save me?" 

2. "If the sun is shining on me and I can allow happiness into my heart, then I am the richest girl in town."  

3. "Sometimes, no matter how much time has passed or whose feelings were hurt, a person will always have a very special place in your heart. Years take the edge of rejection. Years take the sadness out of "I can't." The world has an amazing way of giving you what you need, and not always what you want." 

4. "Everyone is perfect for somebody. But we are not always perfect for who we think we should be perfect for. Love will find you. In the places you are not looking. Love is gonna find the people who broke your heart too, and you should want that for them. We all deserve happiness, and once you find your own "meant to be," you won't feel so horrible about your "not meant to be's" loving someone else. Trust me." 

5. "I wish happiness could erase old hurt the way old hurt obliterates knowing better." 

6. "Being in love doesn't equal complete bliss and happiness. There will still be highs and lows." 

7. "When you really love someone, the next feeling is always complete and utter fear of losing them." 

8. "Nothing is forever, so you better love him or her with every heartbeat you have right now." 

9. "Loving someone is really hard. It involves a heck of a lot of trust, courage and fearlessness. It involves giving away parts of yourself and being unsure if you will ever see them again." 

10. "You will have many great loves in your life. Some will last and some will not, but they all have a purpose and meaning." 

11. "You have to be brave and stand up for the love you really deserve, or people will walk all over your heart." 

12. "Sometimes I wonder how much a heart can hold and if loving too much might be the reason hearts get heavy." 

13. "You do not deserve love. You cultivate it." 

14. "Do not try to act or be different in order to make someone love you. Be your beautiful self, and love will come." 

15. "The bottom might fall out, and promises are only good until they are broken, and love is scary, and it's the biggest risk of your life to love something because there's only losing after that."

16. "My soul is scared and empty, and the only thing that seems to make me feel better is the fact that we are all so lost. So, so lost in love." 

17. "There are amazing people to meet, know and love, but you won't ever see them if you keep focusing on the toxic, tragic train wrecks from the yesterdays of your love life." 

18. "Love, whether it lasts one day or ten years, is never easy to lose. Once love lets its feelings loose in your bloodstream, there's no turning back. You breathe different. You talk different. You are different." 

Visit Keltie's website to learn more about her and find her various homes on the Internet. If she doesn't inspire the crap out of you, I don't know who will. 

<3 Madison 

   

My Favorite Posts from Journey of a Soul Searcher (So Far)

Hello friends.

I want to show my original blog some love today. I rarely read back over old posts because it's embarrassing, and I usually mentally insult myself like, "Was I trying to be clever or something? That is so lame!" But there are some posts I've written over the past couple of years that I'm really proud of---posts that still ring true to this day. 

So I decided to take a trip down memory lane and share them with you. Just click on the titles of the posts you want to read, and you will be promptly escorted to them.  

It's the simple things

Finding Your Happy: Shannon Kaiser interview

It's okay...

Who made you King of Anything?  

Your soul is rooting for you. Believe in your path.

The story of my spark

Have a little faith

My inner wise woman

Your heart always wins.

Just so you know...

A letter to myself 

Enjoying solitude vs. being a loner

Help wanted: In dire need of motivation

Work hard (on your passions)

A friendly reminder to say, do and feel whatever you want

Thanks for reading. :-)

<3 Madison  

10 Simple Ways to Express Love

Image source: en.m.wikipedia.org 

This may be a bit of an unpopular opinion, but I don't think love is really all that complicated. There are many different forms of it and many different definitions of it, but at the end of the day, it is what it is. 

Love is sharing your sandwich with someone who forgot theirs. Love is doing something thoughtful or helpful without being told. Love is putting your cell phone away while someone is bearing their soul to you. Love is giving people the freedom to be who they are and do what they love without giving them speeches on all the ways they're doing it wrong. Love is baking cookies or cupcakes and wrapping them up really nicely for someone simply because you wanted to. Love is thinking someone is the bee's knees even when they're a horrible grumpy mess. Love is making sacrifices. Love is giving ridiculously long hugs. 

I could keep going, but I don't want to get annoying...

When it comes to love, whether it's love for a partner, a family member, a friend or a pet, there are simple ways to express that love. 

Here are 10 ideas/reminders to show the people you love some love:

1. Be emotionally present. 

Being emotionally present means being attentive and emotionally available when you're with people. Don't ignore them or constantly get distracted with other things. Be genuinely elated to be in their company. Attentiveness is one of the best gifts you can give to a person you love.  

2. Be curious before being presumptuous. 

Making assumptions is a quick and easy way to create conflict and anger. Never assume anything about a person without solid evidence of its truth. For example, don't assume that your boyfriend is mad at you if he doesn't answer your text messages all day or that your grandmother disapproves of your job because she asks lots of questions about it. I'm still working on this one...    

3. Be supportive. 

Being supportive is one of the biggest ways to express love. Always be supportive of your loved ones' goals and dreams---even if you disagree or secretly wish they would do something else. If it makes them happy, it should make you happy too. 

4. Give without expectations.

I think it's kind of instinctual for some people to give and then hope or expect something in return. Expecting some kind of reciprocation takes the joy out of giving and may lead to resentment or frustration if that reciprocation isn't produced. Give because you want to, not because you're looking for something in return.    

5. Be thoughtful. 

Be mindful of other people's feelings, and make a point to be kind and thoughtful as often as possible. Nothing says "I love you" quite like a simple act of kindness or a well thought-out expression of love or gratitude.  

6. Don't judge. 

Passing judgment is hurtful, and it's really not your place to judge others anyway---especially the people you love. If you have a habit of judging your loved ones, start practicing acceptance instead. Your efforts won't go unnoticed. 

7. Be silly.

Don't take yourself or the people you love too seriously. Have fun, be playful, and let your adventurous and childlike side come out more often.    

8. Be open and honest.

Honesty is a huge contributing factor to happy, successful relationships. Be who you are, tell the truth, and don't be afraid to be vulnerable. You will feel more connected to people, and people will feel more connected to you. It's a win-win. 

9. Avoid petty conflict. 

Don't nag, criticize, pick fights, belittle, etc. If something is no big deal, don't pick a fight over it. If someone you love does something that makes you angry, don't pull out a laundry list of all the other things they do that make you angry. If someone you love messes up, don't criticize or berate them for it. Just be nice, and avoid creating drama and conflict over things that aren't really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. 

10. Practice unconditional love.

To love another person means to love all of them, regardless of their flaws, shortcomings, bad moods, illnesses, etc. Conditional love is not real love. If you only love someone at their best, you can't truly appreciate them at their worst.

<3 Madison 

20 Different Ice Cream Topping Ideas (In Honor of National Ice Cream Month)

Image source: flickr.com  

I admittedly just found out the other day that July is National Ice Cream Month. Ice cream is my favorite dessert. I go kind of crazy over it.

Since I have a little bit of a culinary streak in me, I can rarely eat certain foods just as they are. I've added peanut butter to pancake batter, I've put vegetables on my toast, I've put crackers in my chicken and rice, I've put Nutella in my coffee. (That was actually someone else's idea. Cheers to Holli.) 

Case in point, I love to experiment with different mixtures and toppings. I guess you could say I like playing with my food. 

I especially love experimenting with ice cream toppings. There are so many different toppings that would be delicious on top of your favorite ice cream. So with that said, here are 20 different ice cream topping ideas: 

1. Sugar cookie chunks

2. Granola 

3. Gummy worms 

4. Corn flakes

5. Fresh fruit

6. Raw quinoa 

7. Oreo crumbs 

8. M&Ms 

9. Cocoa puffs

10. Chocolate syrup

11. Potato chips

12. Reese's mini peanut butter cups 

13. Roasted almonds 

14. Kit-Kat bar crumbs 

15. Mini pretzels  

16. Mini marshmallows 

17. Graham cracker crumbs 

18. Brownie bites 

19. Toffee 

20. Chocolate chips 

Happy National Ice Cream Month!

<3 Madison