10 Ways to Be a Nicer Person

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I am constantly disheartened by the meanness, rudeness and cruelty I see in the world, on the Internet, and in everyday life. Some people are just very cruel and judgmental, and I know that's never going to change. Even some of the most well-meaning people are prone to eyebrow raising meanness every now and then. It's rare to find a nice person who's nice to everyone and not just the people who are easier to be nice to. Why is everyone so hell-bent on fighting fire with fire? Why is getting along so difficult?    

No one is perfect (obviously), but I certainly don't think it would hurt if we all made a conscious effort to be a little nicer to each other. There are simple things you can do and simple things you can become more aware of to make steps towards being a better person.   

Here are 10 things I am working on and would recommend to you:

1. Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.

This is one of my favorite quotes, and I try my very best to live by it. If you want to bash something you hate in your mind or rant about it in your journal, go ahead. But don't do it out loud or post about it on Twitter and Facebook. Instead, talk about what you love and glorify that.  

2. Don't gossip.

I try to avoid gossip as much as possible, and I try to catch myself when I'm saying something negative about someone behind their back. If you have a problem with someone, go to them. Don't whine to other people about it. Also, don't spread rumors about people when you have no evidence to back up the rumors' truth...or even if you do have evidence. Spreading rumors is wrong no matter what.     

3. Be charitable.

You don't have to donate a fat check to your favorite charity every year to be considered charitable. A little can go a long way. I have a cousin who frequently packs lunches for homeless people in her area. If you have the power to help someone in need, do it. All help is good help.   

4. Don't judge.

We're all on our own journey, and we all have our own beliefs and ways of life. Don't judge someone if what they believe or how they live doesn't match what you believe or how you live. Respect other people's paths. You have no right to judge them if you've never been in their shoes.    

5. Give people a chance.

Don't make judgments or assumptions about people until you've truly gotten to know them. A lot of people think I'm anti-social or boring (maybe I sort of am) when they first meet me because I'm so quiet, awkward, and in my head. But the people who have gotten to know me as a human being have been pleasantly surprised. I know it seems easier to judge a book by its cover, but if you do, you could miss out on a great story. 

6. Be polite.

This is a simple one. Say please and thank you. Hold the door open. Smile back. Be friendly. Give people a hand. Don't ask intrusive or personal questions. You get the idea...

7. Be open-minded.

Open-mindedness is one of my favorite human qualities. An open mind leads to an open heart. Be open to what makes each person unique and worthy of love.

8. Give without expecting anything in return.

Expectation of reciprocation takes the joy out of giving. Giving simply because you want to and because it matters to you is the best kind of giving there is. To know that you helped someone or made someone's day should be reward enough.  

9. Treat others the way you want to be treated.

Unfortunately, this age old rule is heartbreakingly ignored and underrated. Try to live by it anyway. If you wouldn't want someone doing or saying the thing you're about to do or say to someone else, don't do or say it. That sounds easy enough, right? 

10. Smile more. 

Last but not least, try to smile at people more often. Sharing a smile is such a simple way to be kind and brighten someone's day.

<3 Madison  

Recipe: Grilled Peanut Butter and Apple Sandwich

I made this sandwich one day when I was looking for something quick, easy and light. It was so good, and I make it all the time now. I'm sure other people have already thought of this sandwich idea before, but I'm going to share my recipe with you anyway...in a more conversational style than my previous recipe posts if you don't mind. :-) 

Here we go!

What you need:

Bread

Butter

Apple

Peanut butter 

Step 1: Preheat a griddle or skillet over low to medium heat and melt about a tablespoon of butter on it.

Step 2: Grab two slices of bread (whichever kind you like) and spread a generous amount of peanut butter on one of the slices.

Step 3: Cut up about half of an apple into thin slices and layer the slices on top of the peanut butter like so...

Step 4: Put the two slices of bread together and place your sandwich on the heated and buttered griddle or skillet. Cook for about a minute or two on each side until golden brown. 

Step 5: Omnomnomnom

Enjoy!

<3 Madison  

28 Things You Have Permission to Do

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I used to (and still do sometimes) spend a lot of time feeling like I had to have approval or validation before doing something. We all like knowing that we're not alone. Whenever I want to do something out of the ordinary, it's almost like a reflex to Google if anyone else is doing it too or if it's considered okay to do it. It would make me feel better to read about people who were in the same boat as I was. It made me feel like maybe I was normal after all. 

I'm far from the average Jane, but I realize now that that's okay. I'm uniquely me, and I have every right to do whatever makes me happy, regardless of whether or not it puts me at risk for judgement. And no matter what you do, you're at risk for judgment, so you might as well not even worry about being judged in the first place. 

The following list is inspired by both my own experiences and what I commonly hear other people getting flack for. I hope it gives you some reassurance. 

Here are 28 things you have permission to do... 

1. Love and commit to your job, even if the pay is mediocre

2. Be single

3. Hate social gatherings

4. Live a small life

5. Spoil your pets

6. Put your needs before other people's 

7. Choose love or kindness as a religion

8. Say no 

9. Vent  

10. Embrace the unknown

11. Create a wedding or baby board on Pinterest, even if you're not engaged or don't plan on having a baby anytime soon

12. Take a nap in the middle of the day

13. Watch daytime television while everyone else is at work

14. Be angry

15. Be sad

16. Be happy

17. Be bored

18. Be afraid 

19. Blog about whatever you want  

20. Suck at being a grown-up and then blame the school system for teaching you how to dissect frogs instead of teaching you how to do your taxes  

21. Want dessert after every meal

22. Ask for help

23. Talk to yourself in your mind...or out loud

24. Be a total mess

25. Take a huge risk for love 

26. Laugh at inappropriate jokes

27. Daydream 

28. Not wait for permission 

<3 Madison 

5 Ways to Avoid Complacency in Long-Term Relationships

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Like any other long-term arrangement in life, relationships can become stale and complacent if you're not self-aware. When someone becomes a regular part of your life and routine, it's almost human nature to take them for granted or assume that they'll always be around. They won't. 

All relationships should be treated with care and attention, but romantic relationships should especially get the TLC they need on a regular basis. 

Here are 5 ways to avoid complacency if you're in a long-term relationship that could use a little boost: 

1. Be thoughtful and considerate. 

Thoughtfulness is one of my absolute favorite qualities in a person, and it is a mandatory quality to have when someone else's heart is your responsibility. Extend thoughtful gestures without expecting anything in return. Be supportive and emotionally available. Pay attention to the things that matter to your significant other. Be mindful of their needs. By making a conscious effort to be more thoughtful and considerate on a day-to-day basis, the love between you and your special someone will blossom.  

2. Be playful. 

I wholeheartedly believe in the notion that the couple that plays together stays together (at least for quite awhile). Don't take life or each other too seriously. Do fun things together, play like little kids, and don't be afraid to laugh at inopportune moments.  

3. Go out on real dates.

By real date, I mean get dressed and actually go somewhere. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to watch late night movies in your pajamas or lie next to each other and read your respective books. But I wouldn't recommend making it a habit. Make an effort to go out on real dates and regularly come up with new ideas about what to do together. In the movie Date Night, Phil (Steve Carell) and Claire (Tina Fey) had a date night every week no matter how tired or stressed they were. That's an awesome idea. (Just don't steal anyone's reservation at a fancy restaurant.) 

4. Be spontaneous. 

Spontaneity usually leads to memorable moments. Ditch plans and routine every now and then, and just see where the day takes you. For example, you could take a road trip without a particular destination in mind or surprise each other with different activities throughout the day. Don't be afraid to stray from the usual and get out of your comfort zone. 

5. Consistently try new things together. 

Try to always have something new lined up to do together and look forward to. You might even want to consider making a "couple's bucket list." And after everything has been checked off the list, make a new one! Complacency results from doing the same things over and over again. Do something different every once in awhile to keep the spark alive. 

Do you have any other ideas for avoiding complacency in long-term relationships? I'd love to hear them!  

<3 Madison 

Can Money Buy Happiness?

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"Money can't buy happiness." It's a classic adage that I've always embraced. But these days, I both agree and disagree with that statement. 

I certainly feel happier when I have more money coming in, as I'm sure most people do. More money gives me greater freedom and peace of mind. In fact, I've been trying to light a flame under my arse and work harder because my income is very much on the skimpy side at the moment.  

While I agree that money can't actually buy happiness (especially if you're lacking in other more important areas of your life), I definitely think it can lead to feeling happier.  

Allow me to explain my perspective...

Yes, money can contribute to happiness.

I read something in a blog post one time that really stood out to me, and I remember mentioning it once before on my other blog. It said something along the lines of, "It's fine and dandy to say that money isn't everything, but I have a landlord and a phone bill that would beg to differ." 

We all need money. It's an essential necessity in life. We have bills to pay, endless expenses to tend to, groceries to buy, etc. And quite frankly, money can buy a lot of things that lead to happiness---like ice cream and books. (Don't judge me.) 

Studies have shown that people with more money are generally happier than people with less. When the bills are paid, food is on the table, and you still have enough money left over to play with and contribute to things like vacations and entertainment, you feel happier and more secure. And financial stress is one of the greatest causes of discontentment. Being stressed out and not having the means to do the things you need and want to do doesn't exactly lead to joy. So with all of that said, I definitely believe that money contributes to happiness.   

No, money cannot buy happiness. 

So we've established that money can greatly contribute to happiness, which is almost the same as buying it. Almost. While there are lots of great things money can buy, there are even greater things that it can't.

Money can't buy love, peace, inner richness, contentment with self, kindness, friendship, respect, meaning, second chances, trust, gratitude...The list goes on and on.

To me, some of the best sources of joy are intangible and priceless. So if you're lacking the above, no amount of money can truly make you happy.


Do you think the old adage, "Money can't buy happiness" is a crock, or do you believe that the best things in life are free?

Share your thoughts if you have any!

<3 Madison       

4 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Deciding on a Wedding Venue

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Choosing the perfect wedding venue is a challenge for some soon to be brides. I think wedding venue selection should be an important part of the planning process. You want to find a location that means something to you and meets your needs.

Here are 4 questions to ask yourself before deciding on an official wedding venue: 

1. Do I want an indoor or an outdoor wedding?

This seems like a simple question, but you have a lot to consider when deciding if you want an indoor or outdoor wedding. For one thing, weather can be unpredictable. If you select an indoor venue, you don't have to worry about weather conditions such as rain, extreme heat or freezing winds. But on the other hand, outdoor weddings are generally cheaper, and you have more decorating room to work with. Trees, pathways, and other outdoor amenities can all be used as your wedding day canvas. Weigh the pros and cons of each option, and use the results to decide whether an indoor or outdoor wedding would be right for you and your future spouse.    

2. Which venue means something to me?

If you want to just pick any old venue, that's fine. But I would recommend picking one that means something to you---one that will be highly memorable. Toss some ideas around with your future spouse until you think of a place that makes your eyes sparkle and your heart explode. That will be the venue for you.  

3. Which venue will meet all my needs?

It's important to consider all your needs before deciding on a wedding venue. Space, budget, amenities and comfort are all things to consider. It would be wise to make sure there is enough room for any additional guests that may and probably will show up. I hear a lot about guests bringing dates and friends along without consulting anyone beforehand. I also hear a lot about uninvited people deciding to crash. It's nothing to throw a fit about though. Just plan for extra space and seating just in case, and thank any extra people for coming anyway. Choose a venue that will be comfortable for your guests as well. If you have a fair number of elderly people attending your potential beach wedding, they may not want to hobble through mounds of sand in their Sunday shoes. And if young children will be attending your potential alcohol-tastic club wedding, you may want to consider a more child friendly venue. Keep the comfort and convenience of your guests in mind, as well as your own needs. Leave no box unchecked.          

4. Which venue can I afford?

Last but not least, keep your budget in mind when deciding where to have your wedding. If you dream of having it at a luxury hotel in Manhattan that charges $5,000 dollars over your budget to host wedding ceremonies, you have to move on to other options. Don't go financially overboard with decorations and other additional features either. Commit a wedding budget to paper, and stay within it. No wedding is worth going into debt over. Remember that being married is more important than getting married. Don't get so wrapped up in planning the perfect wedding that you forget why you're getting married in the first place.  

<3 Madison   

Fun Activities to Do as a Family

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It's easy for most families to fall into the general day-to-day rut of routine and forget to spend any real time together. I think it's good to make a point to do fun things together, even when you'd rather just sit on the couch and watch crime shows in your pajamas. Planning and executing fun activities with the people you love is almost always worth it.

Get out of your routine rut this weekend, and do one (or more) of the following activities with your family:

~ Pretend to be tourists in your own city. Try different restaurants, visit different parks, go sightseeing, etc. You could even top off the day by staying at a local hotel. And don't forget to take lots of pictures!

~ Have a "family favorites" themed dinner. Each family member brings their favorite recipe to the table. It's okay if everyone's favorite recipe is a dessert recipe. The only rule is that it has to be your favorite. 

~ Go to a local park or zoo that you've never been to before. 

~ Have a picnic at a scenic location.

~ Go out to eat, or simply sit down and share a meal at the same table. No cell phones or electronics allowed. 

~ Go kayaking or canoeing. 

~ Have a family game night. (I personally don't care much for game nights, but if it sounds fun to you, go for it!) 

~ Plan your next family vacation. Let everyone pitch in and share their ideas. 

~ Film a home video. Remember those? 

~ Leave the house early in the morning, and commit to not going back until the sun has gone down. You can do whatever you want while you're gone all day. However, do not plan ahead. This is supposed to be spontaneous. Just get up, get dressed, and get out of the house. (You might want to bring some money and any other desired necessities along.)   

~ Go ice skating.

~ Go window shopping.

~ Camp out in the backyard. 

~ Have a movie night. And take a vote on which movies to watch. 

Do you have any other ideas? I'd love to hear them if you do!

Happy Friday! :-)

<3 Madison